lol
"Have you booted up sir?"

"No, no don't kick the computer!"

http://www.news.com.au/common/story_pag ... 62,00.html

ewww, that whale would make one nasty dutch oven!

Hehe, some jokes from my university:

Understanding Engineers - Take one:
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
Yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on
this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want."

"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The
clothes probably wouldn't have fit ."


Understanding Engineers - Take Two:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist,
The glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big
as it Needs to be.


Understanding Engineers - Take Three:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed,
"What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's
so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
Ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for
them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


Understanding Engineers - Take Four:
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.


Understanding Engineers - Take Five:
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it
cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries
with that?"


Understanding Engineers - Take Six:
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
Possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who Else would
run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


Understanding Engineers - Take Seven:
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.


Understanding Engineers - Take Eight:
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing
whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The
architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist
said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he
found there.

The engineer said, "I like both."
Both? "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
the lab and get some work done."


Understanding Engineers - Take Nine:
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called
out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog
spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it
And returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss
me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you
want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
Back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay
with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time
for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool

Oi Satis! what is with the Californian elections, there is Arnie competing, a porn actress (Mary Carey) handing out vids for guns (Porno for Pistols), Gary Coleman and Larry Flint, pretty daft if you ask me. Oh yeah, a Soutth African woman tried to sue her boss after finding a penis in her goulash (pretty sensible) she is now a vegetarian

Larry Flynt should be governor; he'd make short work of all those conservative god-worshipping suprematist biatches. Alternatively, the porn actress would do.

I'm gonig for Arnie. He's the coolest. I think he'd make a really good governor, too. Of course that means no Arnold in Terminator 4.

I must say i was surprised of him being pro-abortion, he rises in my esteem with that. His being against gay marriage is a bit less great; but that's not really a priority either imho (gay marriage), so that's ok. And by not a priority i mean: it's not really a matter of finances or health, more of "recognition", which is mostly only really important for militant gay groups, and we all know what militant groups are eh. Morons to a greater or lesser extent.

Greater....

This ownz!!


http://www.waveworks.net/mac.html

FOCL!!!!!

damn funny, but i was kinda expecting him to get beheaded. maybe i'm just strange...

heres a little something..

http://www.smalltime.com/dictator.html

and this made me piss myself..