This might amuse you. I'm going to unleash it here on CK cos I love a good rant. Now that i've found a good job elsewhere, I can share.

During the last 2 years of this job, i've been noting all the stupid shit that happens in the work place. Mainly for theraputic reasons, but when my exit interview will come around, i'll have a chance to spill the beans and let them know exactly what I think. I've already drafted the exit interview (the stuff i will say) and it will consist of the following sections:

1. Management (lack of)
2. One outstandingly incompetent manager, let's call her Dumbo.
3. The company as a whole
4. Conclusion

Let me enlighten you with only part of section 2:

- Commenting in private to the WW business manager during a F2F conference in Germany that the brainstorming activities required "too much thinking”.
- Asking several questions that someone had previously done so during the fortnightly business meeting with Intel business managers.
- Saying bluntly that “the PTT report is...unreliable” in the fortnightly business meeting during a time when she was manager of the reporting team responsible for promoting and looking after it.
- Applying for Technical Manager role despite being vastly under-qualified. Causing the team leaders to threaten the company that if she succeeds, they retire.
- Querying or exploring fruitless or illogical avenues of business or analytical “opportunity” whereby I could prove why they’re illogical to have, but since she's so dense and inept, she can't see my reasoning, let alone understand my recommendation.
- Daily interrogation session to Andy and myself while she was our manager. Every morning she would record all our tasks and check up on them pressuring us the following day. A futile exercise when she doesn’t understand the work, but also because the work of an analyst isn't really quantifiable with a simple daily checkup. Andy and I eventually resorted to fabricating imaginary tasks and progress reports in order to make the sessions pass as quickly and as painlessly as possible.
- Sending reporting analysts on frequent wild goose chases based on non-existent gut-feel concerns about data accuracy.
- Did not know how to enable macros in Excel (click a button that says “Enable Macros”).

Section 3 I will mostly describe to them via an email I previously sent to the MD a year ago:

I’ve been working at the company for a year now and have identified the following issues:

1. Having been told that no pay rises are possible this year, regardless of performance and contrary to what I was told in the interview, there is no worthwhile incentive that prompts me to remain with the company another year. As a result, my performance has and will continue to decline until I find work elsewhere. The problem is also exclaimed by the poor starting salary. This is grossly beneath not only the industry average, but also the standard responsibilities of the role.

2. Management is less then un-insightful. I am currently beneath a manager with significant operational experience but little or no business development or strategic background. The result is that for an analyst, there is no understanding, direction or implementation of business strategy, let alone adherence to the overall client strategy, unless I pro-actively define, develop and propose these strategies myself. I am perfectly capable of carrying out this work, but totally unwilling to do the work my manager should be, especially at no incentive.

To date, and contrary to the recent influx of on-site messaging, I have not identified any factors that distinguish the company as one with particularly strong interests in the well-being of its employees. The positive aspects of the business culture are actually a by-product of our clients own. General remarks among other employees are ones of financial disincentive, professional and productive inequality with the clients employees and a lack of opportunity for personal development.

And my conclusion:

At the end of the day, this type of company has little corporate ambition or opportunity, so the required calibre of personnel is low and the skill of management in relation to looking after the well being and development of its employees is limited. New employees (especially those ambitious few) see this and are soon disgruntled, demotivated and leave the company as soon as possible with a bitter aftertaste. What remains is a majority base of “uncannily un-intelligent” individuals and from this selection, the management and team leaders are recruited. Incompetence is therefore perpetually inbred and institutionalised and improvements to working conditions do not happen since there are none proficient or able to distinguish between a well-run or a shoddy organisation.

Phew... that's better.

Stuff that I can't share in the exit interview:

A chat with a colleague:

[11:31:49 AM] :she started asking her own questions, as you know she does
[11:31:49 AM] : in the usual way
[11:31:53 AM] : not knowing why she's asking them
[11:32:00 AM] : or where shes going
[11:34:02 AM] : hoping that the answer you provide her to her counter-question, will provide you with the answer... only to find that by the time she manages to express herself, she forgets why she asked her question, let alone my question... which leads to nothing but long and awkward silent pauses, blank stares and the painful, shameful realisation that you are talking to and working with an idiot
[11:35:03 AM] : in the end
[11:35:15 AM] : i just want to end the conversation as quickly as possible
[11:35:23 AM] : because i am getting angrier
[11:35:32 AM] : i'd rather not have my answer
[11:36:50 AM] : i'd rather have her leave my presence in case I become infected with whatever mental disease she so obviously carries


Another:

[11:11:44 AM] : here's another theory on her...
[11:12:45 AM] : i noticed with some degree of reflection, how she acted with newbies or with changes in general. to the business, personell and processes
[11:12:55 AM] : it is often met with ... excitement
[11:13:25 AM] : this is the vibe i get when i see her reaction to these things. leavers, joiners, even jonathans death
[11:13:30 AM] : so i ask myself ... why excitement?
[11:14:08 AM] : and the answer i found was that she craves change. change implies that something or somone that is going will be replaced by something or someone that better suits her needs
[11:14:24 AM] : a minion, a friend
[11:14:34 AM] : someone who she finds likable
[11:15:21 AM] : because ultimately, she is a spiky wretched rotten individual that has no doubt been left alone many times before. by family, by lovers, by friends
[11:15:40 AM] : so change for her implies the possibility that someone to her liking can come along
[11:15:57 AM] : because i noticed with newbies she is extremely enthusiastic for a brief period at the start
[11:16:19 AM] : then falls into her usual attitude of blunt, defensive confrontationalism
[11:16:34 AM] : and this is because she notices that the person is not a minion
[11:16:38 AM] : not a person to her liking
[11:16:57 AM] : does not fulfill the criteria of even being a potential "friend"
[11:17:14 AM] : because this criteria is, after all, flawed in its defective scope
[11:17:40 AM] : she is looking for friends
[11:17:44 AM] : she is alone in life
[11:18:03 AM] : she doesnt ask herself why though
[11:18:06 AM] : we know of course
[11:18:31 AM] : everyone leaves her and dislikes her, and is unloyal to her because she is, quite simply, a bitch
[11:18:55 AM] : for her to realise this, would mean she would have to work on herself to change it
[11:19:02 AM] : and this is a colossal struggle
[11:19:44 AM] : so mammoth a task when considering how rotten she is
[11:19:58 AM] : that she would rather not bother
[11:20:03 AM] : rather not try or consider
[11:20:31 AM] : because she would realise it could be impossible to change
[11:20:39 AM] : and so she lives in denial
[11:21:10 AM] : she continues to go down the road of bitterness and solitude, to the edge of madness
[11:22:03 AM] : because lets face it, we've all seen how she works, and sometimes her judgement or expression is so bizarrely incompetent, it can only be attributed to her slanted grasp of reality

An email I recently exchanged with my boss:

Wondering if anything can be done about [Dumbo's] abrasive demeanour which I am finding extremely frustrating of late and it’s really affecting my concentration.

This morning she approached me in a stone-cold manner, and basically ordered me, without a “please” or any courtesy whatsover to start troubleshooting a problem with the CWP report, accusing me of having made a “manual error”.

She seems to act as if she is somehow my superior and that she does not need to bother with courtesy, all the while be-littling me and not being able to properly articulate herself.

Several instances of this occurred this morning in the space of a few minutes but I shall not bore you with the details.

It’s hardly bareable.

I feel like raising a point with HR to make someone aware. I have several instances like this one recorded because sometimes, these events border on the ridiculous.

I think you showed me these over Steam chat once. Still good tho. I recognize some of the things you say in former (and i'm sure future) colleagues of mine. The pouncing ony anyone new is the most striking one...everyone knows the failz0rs always try to befriend the new people since they don't already realize that being friends with them is the social kiss of death.

Well, this is as good as any place to put it I suppose - I've accepted a job offer in Malta and will be moving there pretty quickly, in less than a month. The job itself is crappy and doesn't pay much, but fuck it, I figured I may as well take it and do SOMETHING. Need to get out of this apartment anyway, and this is as good an occasion as any.

Not looking forward to moving my shit out of the apartment, but it needs to be done. Same for the electricity, water, internet and whatnot bills.

Should be getting internet at home this time though, unlike my stint in Prague. So you won't miss me too much. Will only be bringing in my laptop at first, so I will miss out on GW2 on launch. But I may fedex my desktop later if it looks like I may be staying there longer.

Well, congrats Ox! You'd better get interwebz, I'll need someone to play GW2 with at some point!

Congrats ox. Even if the job sucks, at least you can be a beach bum.

I love my job (sorry), got a 1% rise, woo! Extra £150 a year... lol. Not a fat lot but better than nothing

Thanks bitches

Yeah, I figured it'd be a change at the very least. And even if the job turns out to be utter shit, I can still just walk out. So whatever right.

So after 2 crazy weeks of giving notice, moving my shit out and taking care of all sorts of formalities (water, electricity, union, population register...) I'm about to leave for the airport and actually move to Malta. Just writing this to inform everyone that I may be offline for a while, but also that I won't be offline for a year or so like last time.

I'm looking to fedex my PC over after a while too, so I may be joining you bitches in GW2 before too long.

Cya!!

Hope you'll have a nice trip

Keep us up to date!

Have fun with the whole moving business, get online again quick and hope it all goes well

Damn, I'm kinda jealous. I wish I could move to some sort of island paradise place too.

Well now Ox is out of the job limelight for a week or two, I have news on mine. I'm moving to a different position in the company (kind of along rather than up) but it's a significant payrise and it's got no customer interaction. Woohoo! Start 10th Sept, can't wait

Nice going Pev.