Heh, imagine the baby in the bathtub had diarrea.

Lol, one of my friends has a story of that nature...
Not going to go into that one

that's just nasty. Is there no limit to the depths you people will sink? Anyway, to stay on topic, some of my ex-coworks posted this to a message list we're on...

INTEROFFICE MEMORANDUM

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: Human Resources

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchanges of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

SO...

TRY SAYING
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF
When the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING
I'm certain that is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF
No fucking way!!

TRY SAYING
Really?
INSTEAD OF
You've got to be shitting me.

TRY SAYING
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF
Tell someone who gives a shit.

TRY SAYING
Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF
Ask me if I give a shit.

TRY SAYING
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF
It's not my fucking problem.

TRY SAYING
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF
What the fuck?!?!

TRY SAYING
I'm not sure I can implement this.
INSTEAD OF
Fuck it, it won't work.

TRY SAYING
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING
Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF
Who the fuck cares?

TRY SAYING
He's not familiar with the problem.
INSTEAD OF
He's got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING
Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF
Eat shit and die motherfucker.

TRY SAYING
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF
Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING
I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF
Fuck it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF
Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF
This job sucks.

TRY SAYING
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF
Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING
I see.
INSTEAD OF
Blow me.

TRY SAYING
Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF
Another fucking meeting!!!

TRY SAYING
I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF
I really don't give a shit.

TRY SAYING
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF
He's a fucking prick.

TRY SAYING
She's an aggressive go getter.
INSTEAD OF
She's a ball busting bitch.

TRY SAYING
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF
You don't know what the fuck you're doing

lol Why doesn't it surprise me you were on his mailing list?

LOL good one that Satis

Hey Ox..I thought you might need some practice before your next pub run

Lol, soz but i don't seem to be able top open it, mebbe cos i'm on smallband. Damn download limitations.

hehe, pretty cool CD, I think I'm going to show my chicky that one.

Lmao, is it seriously that hard to aim?

When you're falling over drunk, YES.

lol,
i'm guessing gals don't have that prob
but them again i've never been drunk *ponders*

lol well i've never been properly drunk, but i think with gals it would be ok anyway...unless you have one of those really wide cubicles so you can fall off the side of the seat lol. but since it's usually a squeeze to get in there in the first place, i dont think we can go wrong

lol, my bathroom would be horrible then, fall straight into the bathtub, lol

lol that cybersex stuff is great!

so.....you want some funny stuff eh?

this rates (for me) one of the best.



p.s. The videos are BY FAR the best feature.