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It is currently Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:30 pm
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Satis
Felix Rex
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2003 6:01 pm Posts: 16661 Location: On a slope
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ok, last bunch for now. There's actually alot more, but I'll wait on them till later or something.
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_________________ They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
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Wed Dec 03, 2003 4:49 pm |
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Arathorn
Minor Diety
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 10:23 am Posts: 3956 Location: Amsterdam
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To be honest, these pics didn't crack me up either.
Only the forklift one gave me a smile, I knew it from a serie of such things I saw some while back, maybe tomorrow I can be arsed to look for it.
_________________ Melchett: As private parts to the gods are we: they play with us for their sport!
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Wed Dec 03, 2003 4:53 pm |
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Rinox
Minor Diety
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 7:23 am Posts: 14892 Location: behind a good glass of Duvel
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The squirrel with huge nuts cracked me up plus the does this make me look retarded one, golden.
_________________ "I find a Burger Tank in this place? I'm-a be a one-man cheeseburger apocalypse."
- Coach
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Wed Dec 03, 2003 7:04 pm |
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derf
Minor Diety
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:17 pm Posts: 7721 Location: Centre of the sun
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I liked best the forklift, mastercard, and the packer.
_________________ "Well a very, very hevate, ah, heavy duh burtation tonight. We had a very derrist derrison, bite, let's go ahead and terrist teysond those fullabit who have the pit." - Serene Branson
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Thu Dec 04, 2003 11:31 am |
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Satis
Felix Rex
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2003 6:01 pm Posts: 16661 Location: On a slope
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well, at least everyone's not a stick-in-the-mud like Arathorn. It's ok, I guess he just doesn't speak English or something.
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_________________ They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
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Thu Dec 04, 2003 1:30 pm |
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Arathorn
Minor Diety
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 10:23 am Posts: 3956 Location: Amsterdam
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Those babies really cracked me up!
_________________ Melchett: As private parts to the gods are we: they play with us for their sport!
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Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:34 pm |
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Franny
Marquis
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 11:08 am Posts: 940 Location: over there
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now look who's trying to suck up to Satis...
_________________ Give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a night.
Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Satis Clankiller
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Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:48 pm |
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Arathorn
Minor Diety
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 10:23 am Posts: 3956 Location: Amsterdam
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That's bullshit. His second last serie was crap, his last one was good.
I'm neither posting to dis Satis nor to suck him, thank you.
Anyway:
More creative workplace solutions:
_________________ Melchett: As private parts to the gods are we: they play with us for their sport!
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Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:57 pm |
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Satis
Felix Rex
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2003 6:01 pm Posts: 16661 Location: On a slope
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gah, annoying, had some issues posting.
Anyway...
http://www.jesusdressup.com/index.html
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_________________ They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
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Thu Dec 04, 2003 5:00 pm |
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derf
Minor Diety
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:17 pm Posts: 7721 Location: Centre of the sun
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I love this pictorial funny crap.
_________________ "Well a very, very hevate, ah, heavy duh burtation tonight. We had a very derrist derrison, bite, let's go ahead and terrist teysond those fullabit who have the pit." - Serene Branson
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Fri Dec 05, 2003 3:40 am |
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J
Minor Diety
Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2003 12:31 pm Posts: 3334 Location: Belgium
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Ripped this from some site
For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins
15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
21. Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around you about a great battle that took place in your cup long ago.
22. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"
23. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
24. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
25. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
26. When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start singing, "The Ambiguously Gay Duo!"
27. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself go!"
_________________ Beter een pens van het zuipen dan een bult van het werken!
~King of Thieves~
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Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:13 pm |
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J
Minor Diety
Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2003 12:31 pm Posts: 3334 Location: Belgium
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I`m bored so here`s some more: How to tell if you're gay or straight .. The Real Mans Code....
1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, boiled lollies or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks stubbies, shots, bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, cray-fish guts, pickled eggs, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a Fag.
4. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. A real man will shoot, shit, sleep where ever he likes
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee has to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim or with a twist of lemon" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too.
6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the AFL, Super 12 Rugby, NRL, Cricket, NBL, and V8 Supercar series. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it... you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse drivers or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, finger the beotch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or, if he's a wog, talk on his mobile phone.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that shit to yourself, you flamming faggot!
9. If your name is Steven, Neil, Dallas, Gavin, Frank, Brett, Bruce, Craig, John, Andrew, Robert, Laurie/Larry/Lawrence, Aaron, James, Howie, Phil, Ray, Miser, Damian,Terry, Matthew or Luke, then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it.
_________________ Beter een pens van het zuipen dan een bult van het werken!
~King of Thieves~
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Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:38 pm |
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tyranus
Emperor
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 3:42 am Posts: 2005 Location: Under my wife AND son's thumbs.. in essex! chavs! everywhere!!
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RE rotk:
LLOOOLLL at points 7 (i still have difficulty with the 'queen of the desert' thing, will he ever live that down ), 12, 15, 17, 22 & 23.
class.
_________________ Sleep deprivation for teh lose
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Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:46 pm |
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Rinox
Minor Diety
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 7:23 am Posts: 14892 Location: behind a good glass of Duvel
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heh...you forgot 25 BJ
about the gay thing
1) nope, no washboard stomach. Recall Seinfeld episode on that "you're 30, single, succesful and thin, you're sooo gay". "you" being Jerry. Seinfeld owns.
2)wtf? cats own! If liking cats makes you gay, then call me mr. butt-ache
3)nope, none of that candy, and lots of that meat!
4)no problems there
5)don't drink coffe alltogether, again no problemo
6)lol, i think i don't pass this part. they're being a tad strict tho.
7)don't drive, victim of public transport etc. Can't afford car anyhoo.
8)well, i like There's Something about Mary....about the only romantic comedy ever worth the name "comedy"
9)nope...but i come awfully close to one of those names
Blah...i wish i was gay, so i could be a minority and kick some ass, legitimally. Now i'm just a white western heterosexual male. Can't get any non-asskick-legit than that!
_________________ "I find a Burger Tank in this place? I'm-a be a one-man cheeseburger apocalypse."
- Coach
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Fri Dec 05, 2003 7:31 pm |
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suga
Duke
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 7:08 am Posts: 1012 Location: Australia!!! (country of coolness)
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lmao *bows*
I take full credit for the Priscilla Queen of the Desert thing! hehehe.
The other day I was watching TTT and I kept saying Mr. Anderson, my friend almost hit me
hehehe
_________________ Act your shoe size.
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Sat Dec 06, 2003 1:35 am |
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