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It is currently Thu Oct 17, 2024 10:18 am
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derf
Minor Diety
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:17 pm Posts: 7721 Location: Centre of the sun
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I got that Borowits guy wrong and that old Russian guy.
_________________ "Well a very, very hevate, ah, heavy duh burtation tonight. We had a very derrist derrison, bite, let's go ahead and terrist teysond those fullabit who have the pit." - Serene Branson
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Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:03 am |
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suga
Duke
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 7:08 am Posts: 1012 Location: Australia!!! (country of coolness)
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meh *shrug* I don't remember who i got wrong. Don't particularly care if i'm not the expert on serial killers
_________________ Act your shoe size.
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Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:06 am |
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derf
Minor Diety
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:17 pm Posts: 7721 Location: Centre of the sun
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Thats just the attitude they want you to have!
Makes you easy prey...LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!!
_________________ "Well a very, very hevate, ah, heavy duh burtation tonight. We had a very derrist derrison, bite, let's go ahead and terrist teysond those fullabit who have the pit." - Serene Branson
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Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:07 am |
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derf
Minor Diety
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:17 pm Posts: 7721 Location: Centre of the sun
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+++++++++++++++Married Italian++++++++++++++++++
Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.
Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
"Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"
"Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"
_________________ "Well a very, very hevate, ah, heavy duh burtation tonight. We had a very derrist derrison, bite, let's go ahead and terrist teysond those fullabit who have the pit." - Serene Branson
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Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:37 am |
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Satis
Felix Rex
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2003 6:01 pm Posts: 16661 Location: On a slope
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What to do if your internet connection goes down.
http://www.thetoque.net/031118/internetdown.htm
_________________ They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
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Thu Nov 20, 2003 11:07 am |
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Arathorn
Minor Diety
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 10:23 am Posts: 3956 Location: Amsterdam
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Great! Espescially points 5 and 10.
_________________ Melchett: As private parts to the gods are we: they play with us for their sport!
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Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:18 pm |
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tyranus
Emperor
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 3:42 am Posts: 2005 Location: Under my wife AND son's thumbs.. in essex! chavs! everywhere!!
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yeah, point ten rules.
surely the only use for an aol disk.
_________________ Sleep deprivation for teh lose
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Thu Nov 20, 2003 3:15 pm |
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derf
Minor Diety
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:17 pm Posts: 7721 Location: Centre of the sun
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votes point 10.
_________________ "Well a very, very hevate, ah, heavy duh burtation tonight. We had a very derrist derrison, bite, let's go ahead and terrist teysond those fullabit who have the pit." - Serene Branson
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Thu Nov 20, 2003 3:31 pm |
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Myrddin L'argenton
King
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:17 am Posts: 1717 Location: The Plateaus of Insanity
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I'm sure I got some stuff similar to that... Ah yes the new programs. Unfortunately I'm using another laptop to the usual internet one I use so I might get back to that one.
_________________ I think drugs have done some really good things. If you don't believe me, go home tonight, take all your cassettes, CDs, etc and burn them. Because those artists that have made that music were real fucking high- Bill Hicks
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Fri Nov 21, 2003 11:49 am |
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Satis
Felix Rex
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2003 6:01 pm Posts: 16661 Location: On a slope
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wtf is he talking about?
_________________ They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
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Fri Nov 21, 2003 4:36 pm |
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Rinox
Minor Diety
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 7:23 am Posts: 14892 Location: behind a good glass of Duvel
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Think he's saying that he has a similar thing bookmarked/saved to HD on his other pc which has new programs...erh..or sumthing.
Or maybe it's just
SPAM
_________________ "I find a Burger Tank in this place? I'm-a be a one-man cheeseburger apocalypse."
- Coach
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Fri Nov 21, 2003 9:11 pm |
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Franny
Marquis
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 11:08 am Posts: 940 Location: over there
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i have no idea what that child is ever talking about
_________________ Give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a night.
Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Satis Clankiller
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Sat Nov 22, 2003 8:07 am |
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Myrddin L'argenton
King
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:17 am Posts: 1717 Location: The Plateaus of Insanity
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Child!!!!! I'm the same age as you too child. Anyway I'll show you it now:
New Program "WIFE 1.0"
Tech Support:
I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation, where it monitors all other system activity Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night2.5, and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favourite applications.
I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please?
Thanks,
Fred
Dear Fred:
This is a very common problem that men complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0, because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings -- Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key, because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
_________________ I think drugs have done some really good things. If you don't believe me, go home tonight, take all your cassettes, CDs, etc and burn them. Because those artists that have made that music were real fucking high- Bill Hicks
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Sat Nov 22, 2003 9:29 am |
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Arathorn
Minor Diety
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 10:23 am Posts: 3956 Location: Amsterdam
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Knew that one for a long time, still good for a laugh though.
_________________ Melchett: As private parts to the gods are we: they play with us for their sport!
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Sat Nov 22, 2003 10:00 am |
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Arathorn
Minor Diety
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 10:23 am Posts: 3956 Location: Amsterdam
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_________________ Melchett: As private parts to the gods are we: they play with us for their sport!
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Mon Nov 24, 2003 1:59 pm |
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