I got that Borowits guy wrong and that old Russian guy.

meh *shrug* I don't remember who i got wrong. Don't particularly care if i'm not the expert on serial killers

Thats just the attitude they want you to have!

Makes you easy prey...LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!!

+++++++++++++++Married Italian++++++++++++++++++


Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.

Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother.

"Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"

"Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"

What to do if your internet connection goes down.

http://www.thetoque.net/031118/internetdown.htm

Great! Espescially points 5 and 10.

yeah, point ten rules.

surely the only use for an aol disk.

votes point 10.

I'm sure I got some stuff similar to that... Ah yes the new programs. Unfortunately I'm using another laptop to the usual internet one I use so I might get back to that one.

wtf is he talking about?

Think he's saying that he has a similar thing bookmarked/saved to HD on his other pc which has new programs...erh..or sumthing.


Or maybe it's just


SPAM

i have no idea what that child is ever talking about

Child!!!!! I'm the same age as you too child. Anyway I'll show you it now:

New Program "WIFE 1.0"

Tech Support:

I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation, where it monitors all other system activity Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night2.5, and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favourite applications.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please?
Thanks,
Fred

Dear Fred:
This is a very common problem that men complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0, because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings -- Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key, because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Knew that one for a long time, still good for a laugh though.

New olympic games : http://www.trojangames.co.uk/video_highlights.shtml