Perfectly sums up why I hate printers:

My office printer tends to do a color calibration when I print something. Since it is a really old printer it doesn't seem to care much about being out of toner. It's an old Kyocera but seems to work most of the time.

Shovel indeed.

Haha yeah I bet she always uses that story

Hey, being a stripper... I mean pole artist... is difficult work. You know how much upper body strength that takes? How dare any teacher take issue with that! Besides, she probably makes 3 times as much as the teacher.

Pole dancing is tough! Never tried it myself but my yoga teacher actually competes in it at a national level (along with double aerial hoops which she won) and she's always covered in bruises. I've had friends who've tried it too and their legs are black and blue from one lesson just learning very basic moves. Not for the faint hearted.

If it's not an olympic sport in the next 12 years I'll be disappointed. I mean, this is way cooler than curling

No hope at all.

Sunbathe

If your old, overweight neighbor is sunbathing in their back yard naked, don't look.

Sounds legit. It wouldn't work in Texas (think of the children!), but hell, I'm on board. Clothing is for suckers.

BTW, John McAfee committed suicide in prison. However, don't be sad... he's no really dead. He's running in the background.

This may be a few years old, but man... I would worship Natalie Portman if she wanted it.

I guess this is how non-technical people must feel when I go off on javascript or something.

Still better than NCIS

I wonder how long that rockwell guy practiced the speech and how many laugh out loud moments he had.